Best of Late Night: Trevor Noah Has a Hard Time With Confederate Memorial Day

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Trevor Noah wondered, “What are black people supposed to do on this holiday?” Credit Comedy Central

Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. What do you think of it? What else are you interested in? Let us know:

‘What Are Black People Supposed to Do on This Holiday?’

Trevor Noah expressed his amazement on “The Daily Show” on Wednesday that something called Confederate Memorial Day still exists, even if it’s just in Alabama and Mississippi.

“What are black people supposed to do on this holiday?” he asked.

He imagined the dilemma: “So I either don’t get the day off, or I support slavery? Man, I’ll take the day off, but I’m watching B.E.T. the whole time.”

Video by The Daily Show with Trevor Noah

Equal and Opposite

Video by Late Night with Seth Meyers

President Trump, who as a candidate criticized President Barack Obama’s use of executive orders, is now touting the fact that he will have signed 30 of them within his first 100 days. On “Late Night,” Seth Meyers hit on a way to understand — and maybe even predict — Mr. Trump’s apparently contradictory statements.

“It is at this point like a law of physics: For every Trump action, there is an equal and opposite Trump clip.” — SETH MEYERS

Also less than clear is the timetable for Mr. Trump’s proposed wall along the Mexican border. Mr. Meyers played a clip of the president being barraged with questions about when the wall would be built. Asked if it would be during his first term, he seemed reluctant to answer, then abruptly said, “Yeah, sure.”

“‘Yeah, sure.’ He’s like a dad who made the mistake of mentioning Disneyland to his kids. ‘Are we going, Dad, are we going?’ ‘Yeah. Yeah, sure. Why the [expletive] did I mention Disneyland?’” — SETH MEYERS

Derek and Jeb

Video by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

What to make of the new partnership between, of all people, Derek Jeter and Jeb Bush? Late night had some thoughts.

“According to reports, a group of buyers led by Derek Jeter and Jeb Bush has won the auction to purchase the Miami Marlins. Jeter is excited to get back to baseball, while Jeb is excited to get back to losing.” — SETH MEYERS

“It looks like Derek Jeter and Jeb Bush will be buying the Miami Marlins. That’s right, one guy who could have been president — and Jeb Bush.” — JIMMY FALLON

The Punchiest Punchlines (Red Button Edition)

Video by The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

“He’s just turning the Oval Office into an 8-year-old’s drawing of a dream treehouse. ‘There’ll be a button where I get Coke wherever I want, a slide into a ball pit, and Bigfoot sleeps over and he teaches me karate.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT, reacting to a report that Mr. Trump had a red button installed in his desk that can summon an assistant to bring him a Coca-Cola

“President Trump unveiled his new tax plan today, and it’s pretty much the same as his old plan: He’s not going to pay them.” — SETH MEYERS

The Bits Worth Watching

The flinch of the furious.

Video by The Late Late Show with James Corden

Maybe you sometimes wonder when a comedian is telling a true story and when she’s making it up. If you had Dr. Phil’s professional expertise, you wouldn’t have to wonder.

Video by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night

Video by Late Night with Seth Meyers

Senator Bernie Sanders, who just began a push for a federal $15 minimum wage, will speak to Seth Meyers on “Late Night.”

And “The President Show,” hosted by Anthony Atamanuik as President Trump, will debut on Comedy Central right after “The Daily Show.” Watch this space for updates.

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