Keep in mind, I’m not a therapist or any other kind of health professional—just a guy who’s willing to tell it like it is. I simply want to give you the tools you need to enrich your damn lives. If for whatever reason you don’t like my advice, feel free to file a formal complaint here. Now then, let’s get on with it.
This Father’s Picky Kids Are Bored with Their Sandwich Lunches
My kids are getting sick of sandwiches for lunch. The school lunches are terrible, so they won’t eat most of those. I’m trying to figure out some alternative options that give them nutrition and fulfillment. Any and all ideas are welcome, as a lot of my ideas are turning out too time-consuming or too expensive.
Your biggest fan, by volume,
I’m not a parent, but the fact you’re even taking the time to bother with this is a serious display of patience in my book. I mean, if I were you, I’d tell my kids exactly what I was told: “You can either eat what we give you, or you can not eat.”
I didn’t even get the option for cold lunches and happily ate the school’s weird, rectangular, plastic pizza almost every day. I drank the nearly expired, lukewarm milk, chewed through unnaturally sweetened gelatin desserts that had developed that weird tough outer skin, and relished beef and cheddar days because the processed nacho cheese overpowered the flavor of old roast beef just enough to make it a passable meal. And to top it all off, I worked in the school cafeteria kitchen to cover the cost of my own questionable lunch.
Besides, there are so many wonderful types of sandwich, I don’t understand how you can get sick of them. They’re cheap, easy, fairly nutritious most of the time, and I think your kids should just eat the damn things. Frankly, if they’re old enough to complain, they’re old enough to make their own lunches! Not every meal is a smorgasbord of your greatest mouthwatering desires. Sometimes food is just fuel so you can go learn shit.
This Inexperienced Teenager Doesn’t Know Where to Start With Dating
I am 19 years old and am getting frustrated with the lack of intimacy I have experienced with girls. I have had some physical experience, but nothing consistent. I am currently at university, I am in pretty good shape, and I have an okay social life. I have also been told I am good-looking by someone who isn’t my mother, so I think I look okay and do make some sort of effort. I meet new girls on a regular basis now because of university, and I don’t have an issue talking to any of them, but I am really struggling to connect with them. It just doesn’t feel like they are ever all that into me or are interested in sticking around.
I do have a theory as to why I’m struggling, of course. I am originally from Israel. I have been moving back and forth for a while now and spent half my life there, but right now I live in Australia. I always found Israeli girls a lot more straightforward and easier to engage with. I found that when an Israeli liked me, she would always make the effort and made it really obvious. Are Australians just more timid? Or are they just not attracted to me?
Beyond that, I feel like, because of my lack of experience, I don’t know how to make things happen. I have zero dating experience and I only really know how to make things happen in a party environment. I never asked someone on a date before. I don’t know what the socially acceptable way is. And I find it impossible to know when a girl likes me or if any of them do. I have no idea how to get from the dating phase to the physical stuff. What sort of stuff do you do on a date anyhow?
Desperate Down Under
So you’re 19 and frustrated because you’re not getting any action? Join the club, they have jackets. I’m only kidding—they’re not jackets, they’re pretty pink sashes that read “Please love me.” I think I have mine buried somewhere in my closet.
It sounds like you’ve got a good chunk of the important basics down: you take care of yourself, you’re socially adept, you don’t look like a hairless dog, and you put yourself in social positions that allow you to meet new people. All good things!
But here’s the problem: you’re waiting for girls to walk up to you and tell you that they like you. That’s ridiculous! I can’t speak for Aussie girls specifically, but if they’re anything like American girls, they aren’t going to do that. It happens sometimes, sure, but they’re more apt to send signals and drop hints, which, for a clueless dude like you, is like tossing a coded message into the ocean only to be found by a blind dude hundreds of years later.
Israeli girls may have been easier to approach and engage with, but now you have to make the effort—and make it obvious. Girls may very well be attracted to you but think you don’t like them because you’re not pursuing them, or totally ignoring them in hopes they’ll magically figure it out. I just picture you standing in the corner at a party, sipping your drink, muttering to yourself “none of these girls like me,” and it makes me want to scream. In fact, I just did, but you can’t hear it because this is text. Here, this helps get my point across:
Now, before we go on, I hope by “make things happen” you mean start a positive, loving relationship that may or may not lead to intimacy. Because if you mean something else by it, or if you’re looking for tips on how to become one of those sleazy, pickup-artist garbage people, you’re approaching this all wrong. But I’ll go ahead and assume you’re just a nice timid guy who’s looking for a way to get a handle on dating. Moving on.
Asking someone on a date is actually the easy part, my man. You simply ask if they’d like to grab coffee/get a drink/go to an event/hang out with you sometime. That’s totally socially acceptable. It’s actually the lead up to the asking that’s the real hard part. You need to learn how to read people: the things they say and the way they move. There are tons of guides out there on how to tell when someone is flirting with you, but honestly, the best way to get a feel for that is through trial and error. Strike up a conversation with a nice girl at one of these parties or university events and see where things go. If she’s smiling, laughing, touching your arm lightly, and clearly enjoying your conversation, ask for her number, or see if she’d be interested in meeting up sometime. She might not be down, but rejection is a reality you’ll have to face. It’s not personal (even if it feels like it is), so don’t take it that way, and move on. If she says yes, plan a date that gives you a chance to talk and interact so you can get to know each other better.