Best of Late Night: Pope’s Stone-Faced Meeting With Trump Becomes Late-Night Fodder

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Jimmy Kimmel was one of several late-night hosts to poke fun at President Trump’s visit to the Vatican. Credit ABC

Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. What do you think of it? What else are you interested in? Let us know:

‘A Holy Day’

President Trump met with Pope Francis at the Vatican on Wednesday, and things mostly went according to script. But the photo opportunity was a bit of a letdown: The pope’s chagrined look drew peals of laughter across the late-night TV circuit.

“Back during the campaign, Trump butted heads with the pope over immigration, so people were expecting this first meeting to be a bit tense,” Stephen Colbert said. “And we saw this picture: It was.” He imagined the pope’s internal monologue during the photo shoot: “I was wrong — there is no God.”

“It looks less like a meeting and more like the Trump family passed away and they don’t know it yet.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

Video by Jimmy Kimmel Live!

The hosts had quips galore about other aspects of the visit, too.

“Today it was an historic day, a holy day — maybe even an a-holy day as His Holiness met His Bigliness at the Vatican.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“It got weird when Trump was like, ‘Jesus only had 12 followers? Sad! His tweets must have been terrible.’” — JIMMY FALLON

“It was a good meeting, but it got awkward when the pope asked Trump if he wanted to confess, and Trump was like, ‘I don’t know anything about Russia.’” — JAMES CORDEN

Colbert Suggests a Math Lesson for Trump

Video by The Late Show With Stephen Colbert

On “The Late Show,” Stephen Colbert entered Day 2 of his assault on President Trump’s proposed budget, which the White House released on Tuesday. He noted the recent revelation that the administration had overstated incomes in its budget.

“This is such an accounting blunder that former Secretary of the Treasury Larry Summers called it ‘a logical error of the kind that would justify failing a student in an introductory economics course.’ O.K., or get you tenure at Trump University.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Let me see if I can help. Let me see if I can help. Here’s a basic math lesson for Donald Trump: If a train leaves Washington, D.C., traveling at 40 miles an hour — please get on it.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

Paul Simon Is Not Feelin’ That Groovy

Paul Simon teamed up with Mr. Colbert for the bleakest version of “The 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin’ Groovy)” you’ll ever hear.

Video by The Late Show With Stephen Colbert

The Punchiest Punchlines (Betrothal Edition)

“An Ohio man recently proposed to his girlfriend at the finish line of a marathon. And she can never find out that what he really said was, ‘Will you carry me?’” — SETH MEYERS

“A company has developed a GPS that will guide you with the voices of either Bill Clinton or Donald Trump. No, completely true. This is helpful: The Bill Clinton GPS won’t just direct you home. It will even calculate how much time you’ve got before your wife gets back.” — JAMES CORDEN

The Bits Worth Watching

There are worse people to be stuck on a ceiling with.

Video by The Late Late Show With James Corden

“Pirate’s crotch?” “A duck chair?” The wrong answers are always the best answers.

Video by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night

Video by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

We can only hope that Jimmy Fallon hauls out the musical impressions generator again when he has the comedian and actor Jamie Foxx on “The Tonight Show” on Thursday.

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The producer and songwriter Jack Antonoff at his home studio in Brooklyn. The album “Gone Now” from his band, Bleachers, is out in June. Credit Tawni Bannister for The New York Times

You may not know Jack Antonoff. But you almost certainly know his music. (And his girlfriend, for that matter.)

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