In the midst of a new wave of riots in Iran, real unemployment on the rise, small blizzards hitting the mid atlantic region, people sleeping on the streets in Haiti, and many more serious issues, I came across the all important headline in Google News “American Idol: Are the Group Performances Still Necessary?”

That really caught my eye, because last night I watched group night on American Idol and subsequently wanted to rip my eyeballs out and feed them to our cat.  I haven’t seen that level of drivel on TV in at least 72 hours and I sure as hell don’t want to see it again.  Now don’t get me wrong the article is a non-read, about as much as this one will be a non-read, the title says it all and based on the super scientific poll conducted at BuddyTv with massive sample size of 5 votes, it is obvious that the world already understands that Group Day sucks to such an extent that they won’t even bother to vote in the poll.

You can almost here the masses chanting (as their own cats eat their own eye balls) “We get it already, group night on Idol sucks.”

So why do they do it?

Maybe this is the way Idol and music producers test applicants for the corporate music meat grind:

• Will you jump through hoops if we ask?
• Will you sing really cheesy crappy songs on demand?
• Will you sell out so completely that your dog wouldn’t recognize you?
• How much will you sell your first born for?
• Will you offer up a bogo if you have twins?
• If we mix and match you with other sell out entertainers on concert tours or award shows, will you play nice enough so that we can market you to the point that the devil would puke?
• Seriously, we might write reports about you being a prima dona but you better do what we say behind the scenes

Music Industry Corporate Accountants Pay Attention – Group Night is bad for ROI

So let us appeal to the music industry’s inner greedy child.  The bottom line is that last night was not good entertainment no matter how you slice it.  ‘Cops’ would have been more entertaining. 

Let American Idol do group night if there is some reason to test the would be stars, maybe it helps to identify who will jump through corporate hoops down the road, but if they are going to do group night, don’t put that crap on TV, its a waste of my DVR space! 

Wish I had a crap filter on my DVR, "The show set to record was deleted due to extremely low levels of quality content."  Maybe we should start a letter writing campaign to Congress, now there’s a group of people that know just how flawed a group night concept really is.

He’s been dubbed the Hendrix of the Ukulele, but when you hear and see him play, you know that is an understatement.

Here’s a few samples to let you experience just how great Jake Shimabukuro’s music is, and then consider that this talent might not have seen the light of day if it weren’t for his simultaneous mastery of social media tools and marketing to help keep his art alive and thriving and available for us.

You can follow jake on twitter at 
http://twitter.com/Jakeshimabukuro

or on Facebook at
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Jake-Shimabukuro

or visit his website at
http://www.jakeshimabukuro.com/

This was my initial introductions to Jake…

Check out the amazing technique he employs in this song, Let’s Dance

This will walk you further down the rabbit hole, looking for that elusive white swan

The fall is not always pretty, actually pretty sad in this case.

This then left an odd question about where the millions of dollars went?

Documentary -"Who Got Marc Bolan´s Millions?"(Pt 1/8), C4, September 2003
He made millions in the Seventies, but where did Marc Bolan´s money go…?

His family couldn’t believe he died with just ten thousand pounds

2 B Sides – for the fans – cheap tickets on purpose, a modern day record company antagonist

The Bahamas offshore accounts

The kids, settling down and his son.  Was he in charge of his own destiny though?

The rumors, and myth, was there a missing will for his son and partner…

No taxes paid, will get you in trouble with Inland Revenue every time, who went after his wife, who had to sue the trust and offshore companies. Many untimely deaths and a possible curse???

Milking a dead man, Milking a dead star

People often wonder if it is safe to dance, and cartoons can help put you at ease

when people of short stature down under make you uneasy

All you have to do is ask someone, Let’s Dance

There’s a long evolution of dance though so you’ll need to be prepared to pick a style or get lost in a medley

But then when you are mocked by transformers it must be the best flattery

So where does one begin?

But what if you don’t have the equipment, can you go virtual?

Engaging in too much dance will not harm your political aspirations?

That said you have to be careful not to mix politics with dance or things will just get out of control

Reset

Ah, Shit,

Hit the reset button on my computer with a thumb drive inserted and triggered that virus

If you watch that last one too much it will kill, you but don’t worry, even the dead can dance

That’s what happens when you rely on a search engine, here’s a better example of the dancing dead ~ after they dead marry

Or get a conjugal visit in prison

But then they’ll have to hustle off back to their cells

But line dancing is really a punishment, for those people that kill others with music

They haven’t found a chemical yet to correct that type of aggression, but the goal here is not to get people to dance like monkeys

We can surely evolve past that because if we don’t the results might be catastrophic

People will be forced to hide their dancing

maybe in some cases that’s not a bad thing, but we have come a long way

even if it starts a little dirty from time to time and uses a frivolous number of horses

We have to remember that there is more to dancing than just shaking your butt

even if they won’t always shoot your legs

You’ll just have to find a way to show off some other part of your body

so that you can keep on moving

This is a song that I was introduced to visa-vi my wife’s college roomate, who hailed from Rockford.  She I believe was introduced to this by a couple of her friends, including one, Bob, who became her husband. 

Unfortunately, I didn’t know this particular song back when it came out, but it was definitely a song that I glommed onto pretty hard early in the 90’s when I finally discovered it.

This song is one of those great songs to add into any Fantasia viewing btw, especially if you can get it into the fawn, angles, devils section….

I’m sorry but there are just some songs that were just plain stupid.  Some of them even were produced by some of my favorite groups, such as Depeche Mode’s Personal Jesus.

Another one that strikes me as fitting this category was Bring Me Edelweiss (mixing Julie andrews via Abba with rap and house music)

Of course the music video was probably the reason why MTV first made the decision to get out of the music video business in the first place with midgets and purple cows and those Ricolah Players before Ricolah was invented.

In the late 80’s probably the best symbol for this was Vanilla Ice, infectious as hell but just stupid….

This was even recognized at the time and probably helped to create this genre.

Then there is the cattle call version of infectious and stupid.  Its one of those songs where you have to be herded (Zapp, move along little doggies) onto the dance floor.  No I’m not talking about the Chicken Dance, I’m talking about The Electric (aka The Electric Slide).

UPDATE

Added by recommendation 

Strokin’ Clarence Carter.  I always figured this was an oldie way back when, no idea if it was actually kind of current in the late 80’s early 90’s.

another recommendation –> Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode, would include it but Depeche Mode doesn’t really like their music shared on the internet unless they are promoting a new album.  Since this is definitely not a new album, its a no show on Youtube.  (Who knew that Depeche Mode and Metallica were so much alike?) 

Ever know about Johnny Cash’s version? 

Not quite as good as his cover of Trent Reznor’s Hurt

One of my favorite 80’s songs made popular in both discos and hockey rinks (real fucking weird mix that) is Doctorin’ the Tardis by the Timelords.

here’s a quick short music video, which features a robot so ridiculously unreal that it would make Will Rodgers blush.

Now, weirdly enough The Timelords reformed as KLF in the late 80’s remixed in the early 90’s with a popular dance hit 3AM eternal which also ‘rocked the discos’ but not so much the hockey rinks.  In both songs, you could almost swear that the group went on one two many acid trips with Timothy Leary and Robert Anton Wilson with a round trip ticket down paranoid lane taking the detour past conspiracy theory and straight into the cul de sac of ancient civilizations that sank in the oceans for $1000.

Here’s the concert version

Here’s an obscure version of 3AM

Also from KLF, Last Train to Trancentral 12 inch version

By this time if you are wondering wtf the Justified Ancients of MU are or where they are from, MU is basically a lost continent that sank in the Pacific (not Krakatow, which actually blew up off the face of the earth in volcanic explosion which created a winter around the world as it cover the planet in ash) but a sinking continent.  Basically the Atlantis theory for the Pacific, but the Ancients of MU were basically in opposition to the Illuminati of Atlantis so don’t make the mistake of thinking the two were the same.

Now, if you are wondering how the Ancients of MU escaped a sinking continent, it was basically in a sale boat powered by techno, soul singing and a little bit of rap which the Ancients of MU invented.

Now don’t even get these guys started about their angst against The Jams.  Their not ‘kicking out the jams’ as in kicking out some cool tunes, their talking about kicking a political party known as the Jams (but you can think of them as Pre-Civil Rights Democrats if you are looking for an American analogy).

But in this video, you’d swear that these trance/techno types were more akin to a trancy reincarnation of Johnny Rotten.

But then again they also call themselves the Jams, so things get a little in bred with this ancient conspiracy theory stuff.  The truth is they seem to have factions within factions.

At the end of the day, who cares they make good music.